The World's Most Absurdly Romantic Beaches (Because Nothing Says Love Like Paying $1,500 a Night to Get Sunburned)
Love is patient, love is kind, and love, apparently, also has a platinum Amex and a burning desire to escape real life by pretending your relationship is a Nicholas Sparks novel with better lighting. Welcome to the world of "romantic beach getaways", where cocktails are $30, WiFi is a myth, and your partner is slightly less annoying when they're backlit by a sunset.
Here are the most over the top, envy inducing beach destinations where couples go to frolic in turquoise water and pretend they don’t argue about thermostat settings.
1. Bora Bora, French Polynesia
Best for: Pretending you're royalty while wondering if your bungalow will float away.
Ah, Bora Bora: where over water bungalows offer the magical experience of sleeping directly above Nemo’s extended family. Ideal for couples who want to Instagram their love while ignoring the $22 room service orange juice.
Why Couples Love Bora Bora, French Polynesia:
1. Get dunked into the lagoon straight from your bed. You may call it “luxury access”; we call it “waking up wet.”
2. Couples massages so serene you’ll forget how much you overpacked.
3. Snorkeling among reefs so vibrant, even your relationship looks dull by comparison.
4. Catamaran sunset cruise, champagne included, marital existential crises optional.
2. Maldives
Best for: Hiding from your in laws on a private island.
Welcome to the Maldives, where each resort has its own zip code and the only thing more isolated than your over water villa is your sense of financial security after booking it.
Why Couples Love Maldives:
1. Infinity pools that scream “Look, Ma! We made it!” (Even if you’re three payments behind.)
2. Dining underwater because above water ambiance is so last season.
3. Bioluminescent beaches so sparkly they make your engagement ring jealous.
4. Dolphin cruises: because nothing cements intimacy like mammals that leap on cue.
3. Seychelles
Best for: Feeling smug about your “hidden gem” while staying in a resort with 10k TripAdvisor reviews.
Seychelles: where nature is unspoiled, beaches are “untouched,” and your room still costs more than your car.
Why Couples Love Seychelles:
1. Granite rock formations, because nothing says "romance" like climbing literal boulders.
2. Beachfront villas surrounded by dense foliage and, occasionally, deeply judgmental geckos.
3. Marine parks full of fish with more color coordination than your wedding photos.
4. A UNESCO jungle that you’ll promise to hike but ultimately just view from the spa.
4. Santorini, Greece
Best for: Selfies, sunsets, and sustaining your relationship through white wine.
Santorini is basically your Pinterest board IRL, perfect for couples who love cliffside views and almost falling into the Aegean while trying to capture them.
Why Couples Love Santorini, Greece (myself included)
1. Sunsets that make you believe in forever (or at least the next 10 Instagram stories).
2. Volcanic beaches that remind you love can also be... gritty.
3. Cave hotels with views so gorgeous, you won’t even notice the WiFi doesn’t work.
4. Local wine tastings that eventually lead to emotional declarations in broken Greek.
5. Maui, Hawaii
Best for: Adventure, romance, and getting really competitive about who packed the better hiking shoes.
Maui: the destination that offers adventure for couples who hike, snorkel, and caption photos with a journal entry.
Why Couples Love Maui, Hawaii
1. Road to Hana: because nothing tests love like 600 hairpin turns.
2. Snorkeling with sea turtles: spiritual until one swims directly into your face.
3. Sunrise at Haleakalā, which requires waking up at 3 AM, true love, verified.
4. Wailea Beach, you’ll find serenity, sea spray, and approximately 19 newlyweds per square foot.
6. Amalfi Coast, Italy
Best for: Lovers of wine, winding roads, and mild romantic arguments in tiny Fiats.
The Amalfi Coast is where romance meets carbs, and your idea of “exploring” is walking slowly through lemon scented streets with gelato in hand.
Why Couples Love Amalfi Coast, Italy:
1. Positano’s pastel perfection (and 400 stairs to get anywhere).
2. Beaches in Praiano that you reach by descending into the Earth’s crust.
3. Day trips to Capri, because romance is best enjoyed while boat sick.
4. Meals so divine, you’ll consider proposing to the seafood risotto.
7. Phuket, Thailand
Best for: Balling on a budget, with a side of fire dancing nightlife.
Phuket delivers the romance of the tropics, minus the guilt of taking out a second mortgage.
Why Couples Love Phuket, Thailand:
1. Private villas with infinity pools and monkeys.
2. Boat trips to Phi Phi that sound adorable until you meet the crowds.
3. Massages on the beach so cheap, you’ll tip more out of guilt than gratitude.
4. Fire shows, because nothing spices up a relationship like pyrotechnics near open bars.
8. The Bahamas
Best for: Luxury resorts, turquoise water, and semi domesticated pigs.
The Bahamas: where you swim with pigs and some how call it romantic.
Why Couples Love The Bahamas:
1. Pink Sands Beach, because apparently color matters to sand now.
2. Exuma’s pig beach, which raises many questions, none of which you’ll ask aloud.
3. All inclusive resorts where you eat and drink until one of you needs a nap.
4. Snorkeling in caves that once hosted James Bond, and now host tourists with GoPros.
9. Bali, Indonesia
Best for: Finding yourself and filtered perfection before returning to your 9-5.
Bali is spiritual, scenic, and suspiciously photogenic, ideal for couples who want to balance chakras and brunch in one sitting.
Why Couples Love Bali, Indonesia:
1. Beaches with names you can’t pronounce but will tag anyway.
2. Rice terraces that say “serenity” while you swat mosquitoes.
3. Seafood dinners under the stars with 12 other couples doing the exact same thing.
4. Balinese spa treatments so relaxing, you’ll momentarily forget the jet lag and diarrhea.
10. Turks and Caicos
Best for: Beachfront opulence with no distractions, except maybe the other influencers.
Turks and Caicos is all about seclusion and serenity, unless you're staying next to someone filming a swimsuit haul on TikTok.
Why Couples Love Turks and Caicos:
1. White sand beaches so flawless you’ll accuse them of being Photoshopped.
2. Snorkeling in waters clearer than your future.
3. Resorts with names that sound like skincare brands.
4. Private boat tours where you pretend you're rich enough to own the boat (until you have to tip the captain).
Final Thoughts
Looking to solidify your love on a beach where everything looks better through a Valencia filter? These are the ultimate romantic escapes, assuming your rela
tionship can survive jet lag, heat rash, and your partner forgetting the sunscreen.
Remember: Love may be eternal, but resort WiFi is never included.
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