Escape Reality (and Your Email Inbox): The Most Over the Top Couples’ Spa Getaways on Earth
Because nothing says romance like synchronized massages, ocean views, and ignoring your Slack messages
In our modern rat race where love gets squeezed between back to back Zoom calls and passive aggressively shared Google Calendars, sometimes the only way to reconnect with your partner is to flee. Ideally to a place where the WiFi is spotty, the bathrobes are fluffy, and someone else makes your green juice. Behold: the ultimate roundup of couples’ spa getaways so luxurious, your stress will evaporate on arrival (just like your savings account).
From tropical hideaways to mountain bunkers for the emotionally and financially elite, these retreats promise not only bodily rejuvenation but the vague hope that your relationship might survive another tax season.
1. COMO Shambhala Estate – Bali, Indonesia
Best for: Meditating while pretending not to check your phone
Hidden in the jungles of Ubud (aka the place every influencer suddenly finds “inner peace”), COMO Shambhala offers personalized wellness programs and detoxes, because romance = synchronized juice cleanses.
Highlights of COMO Shambhala Estate:
1. Private villas you’ll tell your followers you “manifested”
2. Spa treatments that make you cry, then heal, then cry again
3. Yoga with instructors so serene they might actually be ghosts
4. Organic cuisine that tastes like enlightenment and kale
Couples who enjoy whispering "namaste" while trying not to argue over itinerary plans will thrive here.
2. Ananda in the Himalayas – India
Best for: Finding your third eye (and using it to judge each other silently)
Located in the mystical hills of Rishikesh, Ananda offers a spiritual overhaul so intense you’ll consider legally changing your name to “Chakra.” It’s Ayurveda, but make it extra.
Highlights of Ananda in the Himalayas:
1. Top tier couples' massages with more oils than a salad bar
2. Detox programs designed to eliminate toxins and your in laws negative opinions
3. Yoga on mountaintops while you pretend the altitude isn’t killing you
4. Rooms with Himalayan views that dare you to feel anything less than zen
Perfect for couples who bond over shared silence and internalized existential dread.
3. Four Seasons Resort Bora Bora – French Polynesia
Best for: Over water bungalows and underwhelming conversations
Bora Bora: the WiFi is weak but the vibe is strong. The Four Seasons is where you go to rekindle romance and realize how weird your partner looks in snorkel gear.
Highlights of Four Seasons Resort Bora Bora:
1. Bungalows floating in the sea of your financial regrets
2. Polynesian rituals performed by someone who definitely went to wellness school
3. Massages that cost more than your monthly rent
4. Romantic cruises to remind you that love is just chemistry...and cocktails
Ideal for couples who believe Instagram worthy sunsets are a love language.
4. The Ranch Malibu – California, USA
Best for: Luxury boot camp disguised as a vacation
You came here for relaxation. Joke’s on you, it’s a 6AM hike followed by a 1200-calorie vegan meal and a massage you’ll need because the hike broke you.
Highlights of The Ranch Malibu:
1. Brutally scenic mountain treks to help you sweat out your bad decisions
2. Plant based cuisine that’s suspiciously delicious
3. Massage therapists who double as emotional support
4. A digital detox, meaning no emails, just internal screaming(just breathe)
Best for couples who believe pain = progress and matching hiking gear = intimacy.
5. Aman Tokyo – Japan
Best for: Zen, sushi, and quiet passive aggression
Aman Tokyo brings together minimalist design, maximalist prices, and wellness rituals so tranquil you'll forget you still haven’t talked about the budget for next year.
Highlights of Aman Tokyo:
1. Spa suites where you’ll whisper, “I love you,” and “Did you book dinner?”
2. Onsen baths that make you forget about capitalism, for about five minutes
3. Shiatsu massages that rearrange your spine and your priorities
4. Michelin dining so good, you’ll consider moving to Japan forever
Ideal for couples who need a break from decision fatigue and fluorescent lighting.
6. Blue Lagoon Retreat – Iceland
Best for: Pretending you love the cold because it's “healing”
You and your partner, soaking in milky geothermal water surrounded by lava fields, quietly wondering if your pores are tighter yet.
Highlights of Blue Lagoon Retreat:
1. Private access to hot lagoons that look suspiciously like scifi sets
2. In water massages that are half therapy, half waterboarding
3. Skincare slathered in algae, because apparently that’s sexy now
4. Northern Lights to distract you from your mutual seasonal depression
Perfect for couples who want nature, wellness, and frostbite in equal measure.
7. Six Senses Douro Valley – Portugal
Best for: Spa treatments and drunken introspection
Welcome to the spa where your skin gets exfoliated with grapes and your soul with wine fueled midnight conversations.
Highlights from Six Senses Douro Valley:
1. Vinotherapy: the only time “rubbing wine on your face” feels fancy
2. Vineyard picnics where you’ll pretend to like each other’s taste in cheese
3. Pools with views that make you reevaluate every life choice
4. Wellness programs that include “just one more glass”
For couples who believe wine solves most problems. (It does. For a little while.)
8. One&Only Reethi Rah – Maldives
Best for: Escaping humanity and personal accountability
This private island has everything: sunsets, sea turtles, and zero real life responsibilities.
Highlights of One&Only Reethi Rah:
1. Spa pavilions suspended over water and your financial sanity
2. Chakra balancing so intense, your aura files for separation
3. Beachside dining you can’t afford to post about too often
4. Villas so private even your trust issues relax
Best for couples in love, or just really good at faking it for Instagram.
9. Chiva Som – Hua Hin, Thailand
Best for: Healing from your vacation to heal
Chiva Som is where you go when your relationship, liver, and sleep schedule all need CPR.
Highlights of Chiva Som:
1. Detox programs that make you question your entire diet and life
2. Herbal compress massages that smell better than your husbands cologne
3. Thai inspired therapies that hurt in the best way
4. Calm beachfront serenity that makes you forget your inbox (only momentarily)
For couples who take wellness seriously and by seriously, we mean “daily green shots.”
10. The Chedi Andermatt – Switzerland
Best for: Feeling rich in robes and regrets
Snow covered mountains, fireplaces, and spa treatments that smell like eucalyptus and privilege.
Highlights of The Chedi Andermatt:
1. Thermal baths where you'll reflect on the absurdity of wellness tourism
2. Treatments with alpine herbs and just a hint of irony
3. Michelin meals you can’t pronounce, but you’ll eat anyway
4. Winter sports that double as relationship stress tests (don't worry, you'll be fine they said)
For couples who ski together, argue over ski technique together.
Final Thoughts
If you’re ready to reboot your romance by spending a small fortune on massages, yoga, and “authentic experiences” curated by luxury brands, these are the getaways for you. Because nothing says love like coordinated robes, overpriced smoothies, and a retreat so exclusive even your therapist can’t afford it.
Want help choosing one that fits your very specific flavor of emotional burnout? Drop a comment.
